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How to cope with disappointments


You know that moment in your life when you think you have everything mapped out? That moment when you feel like you can write your tomorrow accurately and precisely?  and then all of a sudden the whole plan collapses in front of you like the biblical walls of Jericho.

The shock that seizes your heart, the fear for the tomorrow you already planned, the anger at your poor luck, the uncertainty that follows and the total lack of courage to start from the scratch. All these emotions come together to form a tight ball in your chest!

Well I was alien to this experience until last week when my career plans collapsed right in front of me. Fear became my shadow, following me about like a bad scent. Needless to say, I was extremely disappointed with myself, the world and the powers that be.

But the good in the bad was that it got me thinking about other people out there who have experienced such a huge disappointment, I barely handled mine and I wondered about people who couldn't handle theirs and decided that no temporary disappointment would belittle my readers on my watch,  so I wrote this.

Disappointment simply put is a feeling of sadness or frustration that you feel when an expectation is not met. This is definitely a nerve wracking emotion that can happen to anybody. In fact if you have never been disappointed,  I wonder if you are living at all. Probably the disappointment is in your relationship.  The principle is the same. I know you are reading this to know how to deal with it. So I would go straight to the point.


1. Never give in to self-pity.

I know of that need to hide under the pillow and cry your eyes out, while feeling like the universe is against you. It makes you feel sorry for yourself. The pity party starts with the blame game and ends with depression.  Don't give in to that. You might never rise above it if you start. Stop focusing on how unlucky you are. Remember that this is one bad experience out of a red sea of good experiences. So please get off the pity train, it doesn't help .

2. Never blame yourself.

I know it could have been your fault that things went wrong, I know you neglected an advice or instruction or principle.  It's good you accept your mistake,  but accept it and move on. Don't dwell on it. It would shatter your courage and esteem and before you know it you have  a wrong belief about your abilities. You didn't wish misfortune on yourself. So don't be hard on yourself.


3. Look for the tiniest Diamond in the garbage.

This means you should identify the good in the whole messed up situation. Yes it is difficult to find but trust me, it is there! No matter how small or insignificant,  discovering a good thing that happened as a result of the disappointment does a lot for you. It doesn't make the disappointment go away but it sends some relief your way . Believe me you need all the positive relief you can gather.


4. Retreat and Restrategize!

Yeah I know, easier said than done right?But you have to. Go back to the drawing plan and start thinking again. You musn't stay down. There is more where the first idea came up. Don't be afraid to try new ideas. Don't be afraid to start from the scratch.

5. Surround yourself with people who encourage you.

This is key. This is not the time to battle with haters. Ignore them and bask in the love of your family and friends. Allow them to encourage you. I am sure they believe in you.


I would like to end by saying this. Sometimes,  it is good to hit rock bottom because the only other way to go is up! Remember that the bottom is just another surface!
This article would only massage your ears if you don't try to use it. Allow it to soothe your heart.


Feel free to share your own experience and how you survived it in the comment section below, so that others can know that they are not alone.
Talk to you later.

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